Journal Entry: 1

Today I am feeling like I might be losing control of the hypomanic state I have been in for the previous two or so weeks. I have been enjoying this period of energy and intense creativity, having been playing piano and writing avidly. But right now I am feeling frenzied. At this moment, I have racing thoughts, I feel nauseous and dizzy, and when I close my eyes I see the flickering strobe-like light. I'm getting worried.

I know for instance that I am having psychotic symptoms. In the night I was hallucinating about there being something in the corner of the room. I was absolutely terrified of this creature/being/obvious figment of my imagination (which during my migraine had became the Baphomet). My boyfriend told me to get out of bed and confront it, but I absolutely couldn't. And I am smelling that familiar scent of nutty mustiness, that seems to come with this mood state.

I want to talk to someone about how I'm feeling, but for some reason don't feel like I can. Also, my usual therapy appointment is on Mondays, but next week due to Thanksgiving, my appointment is on Wednesday. I really wish I had that appointment tomorrow.

Should I be taking Abilify right now? I don't know what to do.