Journal Entry: 2

Well, the good news is, is that my psychologist was wrong the other day, where she said that I should check myself into hospital. I spoke to my psychiatrist, who believes that what is wrong with me right now could be a neurological problem. I have a neurologist appointment in a few days to find out, fingers crossed.


However, I have been doing more Bipolar research, and found this interesting passage describing five different possible states of mania. I am definitely in this category today I think: 


Group 4 (21.4 percent) had the highest ratings of dysphoria and the lowest of hedonic activation. Corresponding with Kraepelin’s depressive or anxious mania, these patients were marked by prominent depressed mood, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and feelings of guilt, along with high levels of irritability, aggression, psychosis, and paranoid thinking.


I have been very irritable with my boyfriend, and obviously was having psychosis a few days ago (has it fully gone?...not sure). Ok, the suicidal ideation is a little much (although I'm thinking a lot about suicide because of the anniversary of my attempt), but I am anxious and depressed. Thanks Kraepelin for allowing me to label myself again! lol.